Emotion. Your script is so focused on conveying information it forgets to check in with how its characters are relating to each other.
Your plan for the second act. What’s your hook? You have your situational setup and then…that’s it, Helen, let’s just talk about it until the end.
Proofreading. I don’t bother correcting spelling and grammar in notes. The errors are too rampant and I just hold them against you without telling you.
Decent dialogue. Your lines aren’t indicative of character, they’re two robots aggressively pretending they aren’t telling each other what’s up with the plot.
Pacing. You never rewrote to take out the scenes in which you were still feeling your way through the story.
A protagonist with their heart and soul on the line. You didn’t clearly define why this moment in time is a permanent game-changer for your protag.
Powerful forces. Your protagonist doesn’t face obstacles that seem too formidable to overcome.
A rock solid ending. The point at which we ascend on the wings of the protag.
Or…cry our eyes out because of their losses. There has to be an ending.
